Marriage Advice from Past Exes Who Remarried Each Other

Marriage Advice from Past Exes Who Remarried Each Other

Remarrying an ex is not out of the norm these days. They earned their second chance - and have much of value to share with newlyweds. If you're skeptical, take a look below.

"Dan and I divorced after three years together but remained somewhat friendly. Five years later, after we'd had other relationships crash and burn, we realized the necessity of admitting our own culpability, rather than blame our partner. So we went into first individual therapy, and then did couples' work. We recently celebrated the eighth anniversary of our second marriage." -Sherri

"The reason for our divorce was his infidelity. Even though I couldn't trust my husband, I still loved him. And a part of me realized that, while Bill ultimately sexually betrayed me, I had treated him as an afterthought for years. So after the split, we entered therapy together to say all the things that had been kept hidden behind walls through most of our marriage. The air became totally clear. Now that we are remarried he is totally transparent. I'm always aware of where Bill is and what he's doing. And we regularly have cleansing talks so small frustrations don't get become huge boulders." -Dana

"After the divorce I realized how difficult I must have been to be married to. I held grudges for every little thing, constantly blasting Ted for one infraction or other, so I wound up alone and missing him. I realized I needed to learn to let small grievances go instead of dwelling. I also realized I had to learn to forgive myself. I became a happier person, much lighter inside, and we eventually came back together." -Carol

п»ї"We were childhood sweethearts who married right out of college. Alan and I divorced simply because we needed more experience discovering ourselves before committing to a lifetime partnership. There was no guarantee the other would still be available when this exploration was finished. Happily, four years later we were both in the same frame of mind, had a second wedding on the beach and a decade later have never regretted a moment of any of it." -Kim

"It was an impulsive first wedding - not in Vegas, but it might as well have been, for all the thought we put into it. After the hormones quieted down, I thought, 'Who is this stranger?' panicked and sued for divorce. Once that was out of the way Andy and I started dating to get to know one another in a non-pressured way. The second time around the marriage came from a deep pool of knowledge about who we were as individuals, not as a quickie lust decision. The second time took!" -Barb

"The first time around, the fights were epic - neither of us could say no or give in. After the divorce life's hard knocks taught both of us humility - the importance of putting the partnership ahead of the need to 'win and conquer'. Running into one another seven years after separating, we discovered the love was still there. Thankfully, we now had relationship skills as well." -Leigh

"The second time around we treat one another like the center of the universe." *-Abby *

Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW is a New York City-based marriage therapist and author.